Help for Victims of Dating Violence

Dating violence means any form of violence or abusive behaviour towards a person by a boyfriend or girlfriend, or by an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend. Dating violence can happen to anyone whether they are casually dating or in a serious relationship. Being in a relationship does not give anyone the right to be violent or abusive.

Many types of dating violence are crimes. All types of dating violence—physical, sexual, and emotional—are harmful. Even though it is not a criminal act, emotional abuse is often very harmful. Violence and other forms of abusive behaviour can happen once or many times in a dating relationship. Sometimes an abusive boyfriend or girlfriend refuses to accept that a relationship isn’t working or is over. But if people stay together in an abusive relationship and don’t get help, the violence or abuse often gets worse.

Abusive relationships may involve crimes of violence. Punching, slapping, shoving, and other types of physical violence are crimes of assault. So is threatening to hurt someone, with or without a weapon. Forcing someone to have sex is another type of violence, the crime of sexual assault. A relationship doesn’t have to involve hitting or forced sex to be abusive. It may include harassment or stalking. Dating violence may involve various other actions by one person in the relationship to control or intimidate the other person.

Each person can have different reactions to victimization. Trauma is the term that describes both the physical and emotional reactions to a traumatic event. Common symptoms of trauma include reviewing parts of the crime over and over in one’s mind, mood swings, shaken sense of personal safety, heightened sense of smell or hearing, emotional detachment, disassociation, and so on. Symptoms associated with trauma may take several weeks to subside. If you’re concerned about your or another’s reactions to a traumatic event, see a doctor, your counsellor, or contact VictimLink BC.

If you are a victim of dating violence and require assistance, or if you just want to talk to someone, please call VictimLink BC at 1-800-563-0808.

Steps to Take if You Need Help

If you are in immediate danger or need urgent medical help, contact the police or ambulance services, by calling 911 or the emergency number for your community.
If you want to contact the police but the situation is not urgent, call the non-emergency number for police in your community.
If you’re not sure about talking to the police, please call VictimLink BC at 1-800-563-0808 to discuss your options.
If you feel like you are not in a safe place, please go to one and call VictimLink BC.
To find a transition house or safe home, please call VictimLink BC.
If you have been physically assaulted, go see your doctor or to a medical clinic immediately.
If you have been sexually assaulted, go to a hospital as soon as possible. Early medical treatment (i.e., within 72 hours) may reduce the physical impacts of the crime. Accompaniment to the hospital or to the police may be available in your area. Please call VictimLink BC at 1-800-563-0808 for more information.
Tell someone you trust what happened. If you need emotional or practical support, ask for help.
You can also call VictimLink BC at 1-800-563-0808 for emotional or practical support and referrals to counselling and other services.
If you have questions about dating violence, or your rights, don’t hesitate to call VictimLink BC at 1-800-563-0808.

Reporting to the Police

You may wish to report dating violence to the police. A support person can be with you if you choose to report to the police. You can get help from victim services and other agencies, whether or not the police are involved. If you are unsure about reporting to the police, you may find that talking with a Victim Service Worker helps in making this decision. Call VictimLink BC at 1-800-563-0808 to contact a Victim Service Worker in your community.

Additional Resources

The Youth Against Violence Line is a service that young people can call to seek assistance or report incidents of youth dating violence or crime. Call the Youth Against Violence Line at 1-800-680-4264 or visit the Youth Against Violence Line website.

If you are a victim of dating violence and need assistance, or if you just want to talk to someone, please call VictimLink BC at 1-800-563-0808.